A Little More Hope

Nice to see some allies . . .

In the aftermath of the Isla Vista killings, as the MRA scum of the internet have come out todefend Rodger’s worldview if not his actions and a disturbing number of ostensibly non-sexist men have tried to downplay the role of misogyny in his crimes, #yesallwomen became a robust and cathartic rallying cry. Now, Elizabeth Plank from PolicyMic offers #allmencan as space for men who are also tired of misogyny to show that the #notallmen contingent doesn’t speak for them. 

A couple things I really appreciate about the #allmencan framing: First, while some of the men who submitted images to PolicyMic use the language of “real men,” the hashtag itself doesn’t. I get the desire to claim to “real man” label in order to, as Michael Kimmel explains on his submission, “take back the notion that supporting women’s equality does not in any way diminish our manhood.” But, honestly, I’m done with that. I’m done with any attempts to recruit male allies that appeal to a protector role or reinforce hierarchies of masculinities. Don’t be a “real man” — be a goddamn person. All of you.

I know it's just a hashtag and all, but the more we talk about misogyny and the million little ways patriarchy harms us all, the more we become aware that this isn't just how things are and have to be. It goes without saying that these kinds of conversations can be really hard, especially with good friends and people we love, but they need to be had.